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 Meatshield Stories

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The Matt Wolf
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The Matt Wolf


Posts : 1299
Join date : 2008-10-16
Age : 40
Location : Chicago, IL

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PostSubject: Meatshield Stories   Meatshield Stories I_icon_minitimeSat Sep 05, 2009 8:00 am

If you listened to the last podcast (TheMattWolf Presents) Meatshield told some really "detailed" stories. Feel free to post your own thorough story.

Start what sounds like it will be a good story, and end it abruptly with, "So I said Fuck you and I walked out".
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SoBDale

SoBDale


Posts : 252
Join date : 2008-10-20
Age : 43
Location : Chcago

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PostSubject: Re: Meatshield Stories   Meatshield Stories I_icon_minitimeMon Sep 07, 2009 12:00 pm

The most merciful thing in the world, I think, is the inability of the human mind to correlate all its contents. We live on a placid island of ignorance in the midst of black seas of infinity, and it was not meant that we should voyage far. The sciences, each straining in its own direction, have hitherto harmed us little; but some day the piecing together of dissociated knowledge will open up such terrifying vistas of reality, and of our frightful position therein, that we shall either go mad from the revelation or flee from the light into the peace and safety of a new dark age.

Theosophists have guessed at the awesome grandeur of the cosmic cycle wherein our world and human race form transient incidents. They have hinted at strange survivals in terms which would freeze the blood if not masked by a bland optimism. But it is not from them that there came the single glimpse of forbidden eons which chills me when I think of it and maddens me when I dream of it. That glimpse, like all dread glimpses of truth, flashed out from an accidental piecing together of separated things - in this case an old newspaper item and the notes of a dead professor. I hope that no one else will accomplish this piecing out; certainly, if I live, I shall never knowingly supply a link in so hideous a chain. I think that the professor, too intented to keep silent regarding the part he knew, and that he would have destroyed his notes had not sudden death seized him.

My knowledge of the thing began in the winter of 1926-27 with the death of my great-uncle, George Gammell Angell, Professor Emeritus of Semitic Languages in Brown University, Providence, Rhode Island. Professor Angell was widely known as an authority on ancient inscriptions, and had frequently been resorted to by the heads of prominent museums; so that his passing at the age of ninety-two may be recalled by many. Locally, interest was intensified by the obscurity of the cause of death. The professor had been stricken whilst returning from the Newport boat; falling suddenly; as witnesses said, after having been jostled by a nautical-looking negro who had come from one of the queer dark courts on the precipitous hillside which formed a short cut from the waterfront to the deceased's home in Williams Street. Physicians were unable to find any visible disorder, but concluded after perplexed debate that some obscure lesion of the heart, induced by the brisk ascent of so steep a hill by so elderly a man, was responsible for the end. At the time I saw no reason to dissent from this dictum, but latterly I am inclined to wonder - and more than wonder.

As my great-uncle's heir and executor, for he died a childless widower, I was expected to go over his papers with some thoroughness; and for that purpose moved his entire set of files and boxes to my quarters in Boston. Much of the material which I correlated will be later published by the American Archaeological Society, but there was one box which I found exceedingly puzzling, and which I felt much averse from showing to other eyes. It had been locked and I did not find the key, so i said "fuck you". and walked out.
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Furious Ric

Furious Ric


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PostSubject: Re: Meatshield Stories   Meatshield Stories I_icon_minitimeMon Sep 07, 2009 6:58 pm

This one time, the cops came to arrest me at my apartment. So I said, fuck you, and walked out.
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Beebaboo

Beebaboo


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Age : 31
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PostSubject: Re: Meatshield Stories   Meatshield Stories I_icon_minitimeMon Sep 07, 2009 11:56 pm

I was sitting at my computer, looking at the denythepain.com forums, when a topic came up where Matt Wolf asked us to come up with Meatshield stories, so I said "fuck you", and I walked out.
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SoBDale

SoBDale


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Join date : 2008-10-20
Age : 43
Location : Chcago

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PostSubject: Re: Meatshield Stories   Meatshield Stories I_icon_minitimeTue Sep 08, 2009 11:27 pm

Rudolph the red-nosed reindeer rendeer
had a very shiny nose
and if you ever saw it,
you would even say it glows

all of the other reindeer
used to laugh and call him names
so he said "fuck you"
and walked out
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Hush

Hush


Posts : 168
Join date : 2009-05-01

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PostSubject: Re: Meatshield Stories   Meatshield Stories I_icon_minitimeWed Sep 09, 2009 2:12 pm

This one time I was in session with my thugs, and they were having creative differences, So they started punching each other, and choking each other, and I said "Fuck You", and walked out.

This other time, I had a client say to me, "Can't you just push the "Beyonce Button"? And I said, "Fuck you", and walked out.

Another time, I had a client call me on his cell from the bathroom of the studio to tell me what song to load up. And I said, "Fuck you", and walked out.

This is fun!! Kind of therapeutic!!

Another time, I had a client ask me to make a radio version of a song that had the word "shit" eight times in the hook alone. So I said, "Fuck you", and walked out.

Once, I was in session, and a client said to me, "Hush, you wanna buy some X?" And I said, Fuck you", and walked out.

I like this!!! Surprised

Once, way back when I was an intern, I was asked to clean the live room. I found a bucket of piss next to a piano. So I said, "Fuck you", and walked out.

And then there was the time my client asked me if I wanted some of their Hennessy. And I said, "Okay!!" I needed it, because if I didn't take it, I would have been so irritated with them that I would have said "Fuck you", and walked out.


THANKS, MATT WOLF!!!!!!!!!
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Hush

Hush


Posts : 168
Join date : 2009-05-01

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PostSubject: Re: Meatshield Stories   Meatshield Stories I_icon_minitimeThu Sep 10, 2009 4:09 pm

Today, my client told me he would be an hour and a half late to his session. So I said, "YOU LIE!!!"
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PostSubject: Re: Meatshield Stories   Meatshield Stories I_icon_minitime

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